Things I’ve learned in Wedding Planning
1.
Everyone gets excited for you!
2.
You will get swept up in crafty DIY ideas that
will change at least once per month per item or idea, which is proportional to
the amount of time spent on Pinterest and Style Me Pretty
3.
You will become an amateur calligrapher, photographer,
baker and/or florist until someone (fiancé) reins you back and reminds you that
you can’t do it all and sometimes it’s better to pay someone qualified to just
get it done. Outsourcing is a hard, hard lesson to learn.
4.
You will care about things that don’t matter at
all to your fiancé or even to yourself prior to this whole wedding thingamajig.
5.
You will start to feel yourself slipping away a
little bit as hours of your time are spent in a hunched posture, with stomach
growling because you’re on a diet and your credit card groaning from the
impulse purchases online.
I WILL find a way to use 50
mismatched gold frames after the wedding!
6.
You will start to critically evaluate yourself,
your friends, your wardrobe and your DIY Pinterest-y craft choices as
SMP-worthy. If it’s not, back to the drawing board, or in this special case, Pinterest.
7.
You will be convinced that you need a theme.
This year, it’s the 1920s/Great Gatsby. Next year: Hunger Games: Catching Fire?
8.
Money will flow out of your wallet uncontrollably.
9.
There will be mysterious family members who
neither you nor anyone else have ever met, and in fact may be dusty old
skeletons in their house on the hill, but are obligated invitees. No questions
asked, no arguments given.
10.
Some wedding trends will just pop up over and
over again, and the only thing you can wonder is “WHYYYYYY???” Ahem, gray and
yellow palette, AHEM BURLAP AND LACE. MASON JARS. MUSTACHE PROPS. REGISTRIES!!
11.
Okay, that last part isn’t fair. Registries are
useful to guests, yes, who have been socialized that weddings = gifts. But that’s
not the point of a wedding! It’s to observe the joyful couple’s commitment to and
love for each other, and to celebrate with days-old bakery cake and a conga
line if you’re feeling rowdy.
12. You will hear this phrase: “People will expect
[xyz].” Expect what, you ask? Cake. A registry. An invitation to the rehearsal
dinner (which, prior to all this research, I literally only expected to invite
those involved in the actual rehearsal!!!). Flowers. Favors. An open bar with
top shelf liquor that no one drinks except at weddings with someone else’s
dime. A dinner. A place to sit. Some form of entertainment including a belly
dancer, a firebreathing sword swallower, a clown, an acrobat and/or a poet.
I personally want a birds of prey exhibit at
my wedding, but I can’t imagine the logistics or liability. Would a pygmy owl
perched on my shoulder, nuzzling my cheek be worthy of a Pinterest post?
13.
You will want to elope. Many times. Probably
every day. But I have heard that it will be all worth it on your wedding day, mostly because your
opportunity to elope is pretty much gone.
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